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Life’s Little Rewards - Good or Bad?

Last week, I started thinking about what’s different about where I’m at in my health journey now as compared to say, 3 or 4 years ago. One of the biggest changes has been removing the “reward” system for doing good. You know the one, where you’ve eaten healthy all week or exercised at least 30 minutes a day, or meditated at least 10 minutes a day and now that its the weekend, you feel like you deserve a reward for “being good.” So what do we do, maybe have that fancy Starbucks coffee in the morning or have a slice of cake for dessert or go shopping or indulge in being a couch potato and watch a marathon of your favorite TV show.

If you take a step back and observe, how did you feel after your “good” activities during the week as opposed to your “bad” reward activities over the weekend? Did you notice a change in how your body reacted to eating whole foods instead of the processed stuff? Did you have more energy from getting your body moving or have more clarity and focus from meditating? Come Sunday evening, are you in a place of guilt because you know that “being bad” has negated some of the positive steps you took earlier in the week?

Why do we feel like we need a reward in the first place? Our bodies are an amazing collection of trillions of cells that co-create every little part of us from head to toe, and keep us up and running like well oiled machines. We are sacred temples and should be treating ourselves as such. I know its easy to say and I’ve struggled with it myself for many years. Because of different childhood experiences, my self worth and self esteem were really low. I used food as a weapon to sabotage the good things that may come along, especially in romantic relationships. If I lost weight and felt good, I got overwhelmed by compliments and attention, making me feel like its just because the other person wanted something from me, which made me retreat back into my “safe” zone and go back to my old patterns of eating junk. It was hard for me to acknowledge and accept love from others when I didn’t love myself.

The “rewards” then become a distraction to doing the heavy lifting and the guilt feeds the fears

we have of actually achieving the goals we set out for ourselves. Even though I’m in a much better place now, there’s still a little voice in my head that wants to stop at Starbucks on my way home from a good 3 hour hike to get a double chocolatey chip Frappuccino. On the rare occasion where I’ve given in, I felt sick afterward. Partly because of the remorse but more so because I’ve weened myself off of sugar to the point that my body just doesn’t like it. I’ve gotten to the point where I acknowledge the voice and just say, “No” and focus on getting home to that nice big glass of coconut water or fruit smoothie with all natural ingredients or the nice detoxing bath with sea salts, coconut oil, and essential oils. Are these still considered rewards? They’re part of my self-care regimen and something I do on a regular basis so I don’t consider them a reward.

As an energy clearer, I totally get it now. Like so many others who have “yo-yo” dieted throughout the course of their lives, if you don’t get down to the actual energetic root of what makes you sabotage yourself, the pattern will continue over and over again. You will have periods of success and for some, that’s enough to propel them to work really hard to clear and remove the root from its core so they can now heal and be free from the dysfunctional energy that held them back. Its not a process that happens overnight. It can take years depending on how deep those roots are and how willing the person is to do the actual work. I speak from experience and know full well the emotional rollercoaster and gut wrenching struggle that goes on when you want to move forward but that piece of you won’t let that energy go. Its very easy to see why most people give up because its like your on a constant uphill battle wondering if you’ll ever reach the peak. Being complacent, saying, “I wasn’t meant to be healthy,” or even blaming external circumstances for the lack of motivation is much easier than doing the work.

Saying “Yes” to the good stuff helps reset the patterns in your brain and reduce the cravings and makes it easier to say “No” to that little voice that wants to get you off track. When we get to a point of true self love and self worth, we instinctively know that wanting to take good care of our bodies, we have healed.

If this article resonated with you or you have questions, would like more information, or know you have energy to clear in your existing relationships, please feel free to contact Ann M. Bordeleau at or call 603-318-1154. You can also follow Ann on Facebook and visit her website:

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